Parenting from Guilt
We live in a busy world. A world that tells us constantly that we need to be productive and successful, that there’s so much to do and so little time to do it. The busyness of the world can be consuming and confusing. Many times we end up feeling trapped in it and detached from our emotions. I know I have been there: exhausted and dissatisfied. There’s always more to do and to achieve.
In order to meet the needs of the world we tend to compromise other things that are important to us. Sometimes we take relationships for granted and neglect them. Sometimes we feel too drained or stressed to deal with the demands of our children. We end up giving in and giving up. Children and teens require special care and attention. They need us to be present and engaged. When we are distant, distracted and disconnected, they feel it through the energy we exude just by our presence. We don’t need to say or do anything, our children pick up a great deal from the way we embrace them and how we respond to them.
For the past few years I have heard some clients, friends, and family members talk about the importance of quality vs. quantity in terms of the time we spend with our kids. I still struggle with this concept. I strongly believe that relationships are made of small moments that we spend together, those moments hidden in our busy schedules and that we need to make time for.
When we are distant (even if our bodies are in the room), we know that this has an impact on our children, they show it to us through their behavior. They become irritable, misbehaving and rebelling against us. They want our attention because it’s a primary psychological need not because they are needy or want to be annoying. When we parent from a place of disconnection from ourselves and the world, stress and guilt for not having enough time or patience, we miss precious teaching opportunities, instants that increase connection and trust. The same trust we need to guide them through life and the type of connection they need to know we’ve got their backs. To connect to your children, first connect with yourself!
Click on the picture below to access a list of questions you can as yourself to connect to your values and prioritize. You will find also 3 book recommendations that support your journey as a parent. Your kids and teens will be this age just once!